My love of Cooking

I have not had the time that I would like for the one thing that gives me great pleasure.  Cooking! 
I have been making some very simple meals.  I keep drawing a blank unable to come up with something creative. I have spent many hours looking at pictures of food "art" on tastespotting.com  I love it!  I have so many things I want to create from looking at that site.  One thing I would love to try to make is Sushi. The lack of fresh sea food here would be my biggest preventive.  I could make veggie rolls, and CA rolls..

Anyway- I have realized that the more I think of the things that I want so badly have me becoming depressed, forming hatred  for my job.  Wishing I could figure out the direction I wish my desire for cooking would take me.  I fear the working in a restaurant because the times that they are the busiest is the time I love being with my family. In the evenings and on the weekends.  Personal chef in this area would never last.  I have thought about creating a banquet hall/catering.  That doesn't allow for ME to shine... It is so much easier on a smaller scale to create works of art on a plate.....

For now I will just tough it out... Perhaps one day my eyes will open and I will see the direction I'm to go.  Till then I will be miserable dreaming about that possible chance I might one day get to create a "plate full of dreams".  .....